Insecurity in the Kitchen

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My mom is a phenomenal cook. She loves looking for recipes, and she is fantastic at spicing them up. She could write a cookbook (because she's also a very good writer), and I know several people would buy it just for her gumbo recipe or zucchini-pineapple bread recipe. Yum!

I am praying that with experience in the kitchen, my confidence in cooking will increase, as well. Maybe I have my mom's talent for cooking hiding deep, deep, deep inside. ;-)

It's not the baking...

Baking is not an issue for me (breads and desserts; not meats and vegetables). My favorite food to bake is homemade bread. I try to bake challah bread every week. (I will put my recipe up & how I braid perhaps another day.) When I am looking for baking recipes, I feel confident in choosing a recipe and using it. I can modify baking recipes by adding extras, like nuts and dried fruit or cinnamon and nutmeg-- no problem.

Put me above the oven, though, and I worry constantly! When I met my husband nearly two years ago, I was quite inexperienced in the kitchen. In fact, I was somewhat intimidated, although very impressed, with his cooking skills. My husband thinks, Hmm... I want to make.... And the next thing you know, he's created this delicious and amazing meal! I have found that as I cook with my husband and experiment on my own, I learn the spices, the methods of cooking particular items (like sauteing onions or keeping sauces from clumping, etc), and what tastes good with what.

Spices

Two years ago, I hardly knew how to use salt and pepper to season a dish. I definitely did not know what curry, turmeric, or even cayenne pepper are. Fortunately, I experimented mostly on myself and not my husband at first (as a single woman). I have eaten a LOT of tastless or even nasty meals, believe me. I didn't want to waste the food or spend time making something else to eat, so... I swallowed what I could and saved the rest for another day... :-\

Today, I am more confident with using spices in dishes simply because I have been exposed to them and have experimented with them. I commonly use giner, garlic, turmeric, cayenne, curry, seasoning blends, pepper, etc. I do want to experiment with basil, thyme, oregano, and those kinds of spices more. Some of the other spices/seasonings, like coriander and other spices in the cabinet that are unmarked, are still a mystery and very much untouched. ;-) I do not know a lot about spices and need to focus on learning spices and what spices help accentuate what tastes in foods.

A funny story... Probably 9 months ago or so, I made homemade chicken noodle soup just from the top of my head (no recipe) based on what I thought would taste good and after reading the experiences of others. I spiced it with several spices, and... it tasted good... but it was missing a very important flavor. I couldn't figure it out. I had made a medium sized pot, so I had plenty of leftovers, which I freezed. Some time later, I had already eaten the majority of the frozen leftovers, and heated up another bowl. I thought, Hmmm... I've added everything I know to add. But it doesn't taste like chicken noodle soup. I'm just going to add some chicken flavoring and see what that does. Wow. That soup was AMAZING. All it needed what more chicken flavoring, but it took me a couple of months to figure it out. :-)

Recipes

Not just the spices! Actually knowing what recipes will be good recipes has been-- and still is-- a learning curve. I feel so much pressure when choosing a recipe because if I buy the ingredients for that recipe, spend the time making that recipe, and the meal is not good... I have just wasted money, food, time, and energy. Round 2? I used to say frequently, and sometimes still do say, "How am I supposed to know if this is a good recipe or not? I've never made it before!"

I have found that experimenting (it's key!) with different combinations of foods in a meal helps me to better judge whether a recipe will be good or not. My mom could take a recipe and change it up because she thought, Oh, this would taste good in here. or Ehh... I don't want to put that in there. I could not do that when I first began cooking. I HAD.TO.FOLLOW.THE.RECIPE. PERIOD. I am only now becoming a better judge of recipes and how to modify recipes.

Another important way I have learned to judge recipes is to read reviews others have written about the recipe (if the recipe is online or open to comments). People write comments like, "This recipe has way too much of this in it. I substituted with this instead, and the meal turned out perfect." Reading their comments and taking the overall consensus is very helpful. Sometimes a person describes a particular taste they were trying to create with the recipe that I want to create, as well. We are not alone in our cooking endeavours!!

Working on Insecurity

My husband will tell you... Listening to me while I'm cooking in the kitchen is a lot of, Oh no! I think I did this wrong. I don't think this is going to come out right or taste good. Uh oh. I think I messed this up. And more specific comments that basically mean, "I don't feel confident in what I'm doing!"

The two biggest learning curves for me have been 1) learning how to spice foods and 2) learning how to judge recipes & modify them according to our budget and tastes. In both cases, I have found that jumping in and just experimenting (not randomly throwing things together, but maybe having a skeleton recipe, looking at what others have done, etc) is the best way to learn to cook. I do not like to waste money or food, but sometimes it happens when learning to cook. Honestly, though, more often than not, the food comes out just fine and totally edible.

My insecurity is the result of inexperience. As I become more experienced (more successess and more failures), I become exposed to different tastes and foods, and my confidence increases. I am still pretty insecure in the kitchen, but I can look back and see the growth.

One more thing before I go... I enjoy cooking. Sometimes it is SO FRUSTRATING. But I do enjoy preparing a meal and seeing how it turns out. I want my family to be well nourished and to take delight in their meals. That's the main reason why I persist in my desire to learn to cook. Cooking well is just one more way that I can build my home and family. What an honor and what a noble task is set before me!

God bless you and keep you,
~Raquel