Just Past Four

I felt the bed shift, imagined those long arms reaching to the wooden night stand, and heard the abrupt silence a moment later. Are you going to get up with me? He asked.

If I can, I replied looking at the little one wrapped against me. What time is it?

Just past four, he yawned.

-----
My mind stirred itself back to when we had just married. We had found out at our reception that my husband's work would be closing doors during our honeymoon (Thanksgiving week 2013).

Zac received the call on Friday after Thanksgiving. His new position, a seasonal worker for UPS, would begin Monday morning at 4am.

That two month period was such a sweet time for me in our marriage. I woke up with him, whether he had to be there at 2am or 6am. I felt so honored to be the one to make his breakfast, pack his lunch and snacks, encourage him with a kind word, and see him off to work with a kiss.

I was blessed by blessing him. That tends to be the way it happens, doesn't it?

-----
Daybreak whispered through the curtains. Quietly-- and with great carefulness-- I scooted away from the sleeping infant and out of bed.

Just past four isn't such a terrible time. Serene. Still. Soft.

I forget what these moments are like sometimes. Moments when you're alone, though you're not. Moments that are quiet, though not silent, and are spent in thoughtful focus.

Do all moms experience the loss of moments like these? I'm sure for a season, yes. I seem to have. Even when I shower, I normally have my toddler knocking on the door, Mama come out. Mama shower? Even when I sleep, I normally have my little son nudging to nurse. Even when I pray, I'm reminded who to pray for every three seconds. Haha

I don't belittle the active, talkative, demanding moments of motherhood. Quite the contrary! I am incredibly thankful I have been given the task of keeping our home and caring for our children.

But I do recognize the difference between 7am-10pm and just past four. At least, I did this morning. And I've chosen to embrace both. Thankfulness, peace, joy, humility.... are in both times.

I'm reminded of Soloman's wise words in Ecclesiastes 3.

11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; 13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. 

He made quiet 4am and clamorous 2pm. His gift to me is that I can 'see good' in it all because He made it all. I'm laboring as a mother for the eternity of my children's souls-- and mine.

I pray you see the good of your tired moments, your defeated moments, your disappointed moments, and your sad moments. And that you're not too distracted with excitement to see the goodness, creation, and eternity of God in those joyful, everything's-going-great moments.

God bless you and keep you,

-Raquel